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No Controlling
The Male
Drive
Attention, men.
Here's some news that may surprise you: British statistics seem to
indicate that women are better drivers than men. Now you know why
your wife or girlfriend,sitting beside you while you drive, is
always pointing outyour mistakes. "You're driving too fast! You
forgot to use the turn signal! You need to keep your hand on the
steering wheel, not in my shirt!"
Men have long
believed they possess superior driving skills, but statistics from
the British Home Office show that 88% of driving offences in England
and Wales in 2002 were committed by men. What's more, men were
responsible for almost all the most serious offences, including the
ones causing death and injury. The situation is so bad that British
officials are considering putting up road signs that say, "Warning:
The driver next to you may be a man."
Andrew Howard,
head of road safety at AA Motoring Trust, noted in a BBC article
that men are competitive about driving and more likely to cause
accidents through speeding and overtaking (passing). Indeed, while a
few men are guilty of driving under the influence of alcohol, many
others are guilty of driving under the influence of testosterone.
Scientists are
still trying to figure testosterone out, but it's clear the hormone
affects male drivers in ways women can't even begin to understand.
Consider these situations:
You are driving
down a road when a car zooms past you at a breakneck speed. Female
response: "What an idiot! I hope he gets a ticket." Male response:
"What an idiot! He thinks his car is faster than mine. I'll show
him."
You
accidentally cut off another driver. He shakes his head and blares
his horn. Female response: "Oh no, he must be really mad at me. I'd
better lower my head and look straight ahead." Male response: "What
an idiot! He thinks his horn is louder than mine. I'll show him."
A driver tries
to pass you, but loses control of his car, goes off the road and
slams into two trees, knocking them down. Female response: "Oh no, I
hope he isn't hurt." Male response: "What an idiot! He thinks his
car can knock down more trees than mine. I'll show him."
Not all men
react like this, but many have the urge to. They resist the urge by
taking a deep breath and reminding themselves that they can't afford
another accident or ticket, especially since they are paying for
several children in college - their insurance agent's kids.
But even if men
can control their competitive urges, they have trouble controlling
other urges and are easily distracted. "Check out those buns!" they
say, as they drive past the bakery. "Lovely model!" they shout, as
they pass a new car at a dealership. "What a figure!" they exclaim,
as they spot the price at a gas station.
Yes, driving
safely is quite a challenge for men. But if women are really better
drivers than men, we need to ask some important questions: When
couples go on long trips, why do men do most of the driving and
women do most of the sleeping? Why is the sport of auto racing
dominated by men? Is it because spectators love to watch crashes?
And why, oh
why, are women not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia? Is it because
Saudi men would rather be passed by civilization than by a female
driver
 Melvin
Durai is a U.S.-based writer and humorist who grew up
in Zambia. His weekly humour columns are read by thousands of
people in more than 90 countries. For an email subscription
to his columns, please visit his
website |
July 2004