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We're Sleeping In Our Drawers Again
Eight hours of
sleep. That's what we need each night -- or so we've been told. I
don't know who came up with the magical number, but it's probably
the same scientist who determined that humans should drink eight
glasses of water a day. Ask him at what age children should be
toilet-trained and the answer will leap off his tongue: "Eight."
Of course,
eight hours of sleep is just an average. Some people manage on just
four or five hours, others need as many as ten, and a few
exceptional people are always asleep.
My sleep
requirements are simple: If I've had eight hours, I'm in a good mood
for an entire day. If I've had six, I'm in a good mood for a few
hours. If I've had less than four, I'm in a good mood for a few
minutes - while I'm killing the person who woke me up.
Unfortunately,
sleep-deprivation is a growing problem, thanks to our hectic
lifestyles and the ever-present distractions of television, the
Internet and spouses who can't get enough of us. As a result, many
people go to work tired and frustrated, realizing that they're bound
to fail the biggest challenge of the day: keeping their eyes open.
Their lack of
sleep diminishes their mental and physical abilities. They make
mistakes at work, cause accidents on the road, and have trouble
remembering vital information, such as their own names. Some of them
are virtual sleepwalkers; if you touch them, they'll groan and say,
"Not tonight, honey."
That reminds me
of the American woman who recently called the emergency line to
report a possible intruder at her home - someone was scratching on
her window pane. She soon heard another ominous sound: snoring. The
operator, poor guy, had slept only an hour between shifts and if
that wasn't bad enough, the darn phone kept ringing. Couldn't people
be more considerate and fetch the police themselves?
Perhaps the
worst part of sleep-deprivation is its impact on your health. It
puts more pressure on your immune system and can contribute to other
health problems, including heart disease and diabetes. And if you
still aren't convinced, just imagine the health consequences of
forgetting your spouse's birthday.
So how do you
get more sleep? Well, for starters, you can try going to bed an hour
or two earlier. Just take a classic novel with you - Herman
Melville's "Moby Dick," for example - and you'll be asleep in no
time.
Taking several
naps during the day may also help, as millions of government workers
have shown. They don't just get enough rest, their productivity
increases substantially. "By taking naps at work," one worker said,
"I'm far more productive at home."
Almost
everybody can afford a twenty-minute nap during lunch, but who in
his right mind feels sleepy at lunch? The sleepiness usually comes
AFTER lunch. If you work in a private office or cubicle and your
boss doesn't check on you much, you can take a quick nap under your
desk, or, if you're short enough, inside one of your drawers. Just
try not to disturb your co-workers with your snoring. They need
their sleep, too.
You may also
want to take a cue from those government workers and leave a sign
outside your door: "Wake me up when it's quitting time."
 Melvin
Durai is a U.S.-based writer and humorist who grew up
in Zambia. His weekly humour columns are read by thousands of
people in more than 90 countries. For an email subscription
to his columns, please visit his
website |
October 2004