|
Zambian Drivers Observed
Having held a driving licence for the past 20-odd years, mostly
driving in Zambia, I'm not the most qualified to judge, but have
made some observations over the years. To avoid getting the road
rage equivalent in writing terms, which I suffer ftom on most I
forays out of the gate, I decided to try for a more humorous view,
hence the categorization of drivers.
Category No. l: The GRZ Driver
Do
not try to identify by vehicle number plate alone, as you don't know
if the passengers are "bosses" or friends/girlfriends. If you see a
flag on the front of the vehicle, it's usually safer and there is
definitely someone important inside, and the driver will be taking
care. If there is no flag, the driver could think he is on try-outs
for the Ferrari team, or he could fall into the "Sunday Drivers"
category, number 7.
Category No. 2: The Private Business Man/Woman
Drives with decisiveness, determination and speed. Clearly on a
mission to be efficient, grow the business, and make money. Easily
frustrated by less determined and focused drivers. Can often be seen
at speed traps arguing with Traffic Officers.
Category No. 3: Private Drivers
(for school children and "madams" who don't/can't drive)
Depends if the "madam" or children are in the car. If they are not,
the driver throws caution to the wind, and can often be seen driving
as if practicing for the next Formula 1 rally. Extremely dangerous
to other road users, should be given a wide berth.
When
"madam" or off-spring are present, this driver is the "text-book"
driver. Always drives within the speed limit, takes corners slowly
(although still swings out before making the turn - can be dangerous
to passing traffic), and almost never jumps red lights. Sometimes
travels a tad slowly which would indicate a new driver still trying
to impress the boss or madam. This can be irritating - not only for
the fellow road user, but probably for the boss or madam inside and
hopefully this driver's services will not be retained.
Category No. 4: The Mini-Bus Driver
One
of the most dangerous on the road. Should be approached with extreme
caution, always giving oneself abundant space to accelerate smartly
should the need arise - that is, if one can predict what this driver
might do next - a rare talent.
Do
not waste time looking pityingly at the passengers on the mini-bus
as you pass, this could cost you your vehicle or worse. Just because
he is currently traveling in a straight line, in the left lane,
means nothing. Designated bus stops and the middle of green traffic
lights also mean nothing. Do not accelerate behind a mini bus, they
stop anywhere, anytime. Mini-bus drivers think they rule the roads
(and probably do).
The
Mini-Bus Co-Pilot also deserves a mention as they feature
prominently on our roads, generally holding up traffic as they
shove, yell, coerce and fondle female passengers onto the Mini Bus.
They can be seen hanging out of sliding doors (which no longer
slide), running alongside the pulling off Mini Bus, or half of their
body length hanging out of a window.
One
public friendly asset however is that these Drivers have been known
to deter beggars and other harassing street people begging alongside
vehicles, usually by yelling but on occasion by severe beatings.
This could be useful in a difficult situation or where your offering
of K 100 is pronounced insufficient.
Category No. 5: The Taxi Driver
Different from the Mini Bus Driver mainly because the Mini Bus
always has passengers. One can assume this is only because they are
cheaper, certainly not safer or more pleasant than the Taxi.
If
the Taxi Driver has no passengers, he will be “cruising”, on the
hunt for potential clientele and will be identifiable, not only
because it’s blue, but mainly because he will be traveling at a
painfully slow speed, slow enough to cause coronary damage to
traffic behind. He will usually have an arm either pinned by the
hand to the roof or dangling downwards. Don't make the mistake of
thinking this is a traffic signal; it is not. Occasionally will be
seen with one or more fingers inserted in a nostril as he scans the
road from side to side.
Traffic following behind should be one jump ahead and scan the
roadsides quicker, for if the Taxi Driver spots a client (even if
they haven't seen him, and clearly are not in need of a ride), he
will stop dead, usually with only two wheels off the road and no
time to indicate. Pay particular attention if you scan a female
pedestrian, he could well stop dead anyway, just for a chat. And
don't forget to scan both sides of the road, he can use the steering
wheel to manoeuvre the vehicle either way. (Isn't that what it's
for, anyway?)
Category No. 6: The Female Driver
Always written about with great derision and humour and
unfortunately these observations are not entirely baseless. Approach
vehicles with Female Drivers with caution, though not necessarily
extreme caution. They tend to be generally quite incompetent and
hesitant. They also can be identified as they have trouble with
gears and can be spotted trying to accelerate round comers in fourth
gear. The vehicle engine "pinking" can be heard from about one
kilometre away for easy and immediate identification. More caution
is needed if there is more than one female occupant in the vehicle.
Category No. 7: The Sunday Driver
These
drivers drive any day of the week, not only on Sundays. But they
think it's always Sunday and are identified by not being in any rush
to get anywhere, just enjoying being out and about. Not particularly
a road hazard, they are however, more an irritation particularly to
the more focused road user, causing traffic jams and back ups.
The
Sunday Driver is often an office driver who has no desire whatsoever
to get back to the desk and the work piling up on it. He usually is
not a car owner and has no concept of fuel wastage or efficiency of
routes to travel. A short trip away from the office will take hours.
The advent of cellular phones has not been a welcome invention to
the Sunday Driver, as he can now be tracked and phoned constantly by
irate employers back at the office.
Try
to overtake this dreamy driver at the earliest opportunity to
maintain some degree of sanity and at least get to your destination
on time even if he doesn't.
Category No. 8: The Police Driver
These
drivers can be divided into two - the "Police Escort Driver" and the
"General Police Going Somewhere Driver".
In
the case of the first, usually the first you will know of their
presence will be hooting, flashing lights and a vehicle approaching
yours head-on at a terrific speed. It could also be one or more
motorcycles. Road users do not fail to get the message in the
"chicken, game" and always exit the road rapidly, sometimes crashing
into fellow road users in the process. Another hint that the Police
Escort Driver may be on his way, could be an obvious presence of
Police on foot at strategic road intersections, so identified
because there are no speed traps, no inspection road blocks; they
will be just standing around, often in small groups chatting under
trees or looking expectantly up and down the roads.
The
General Police Going Somewhere Driver can be identified by vehicles
full of passengers, and one cannot be sure if they are bona-fide
passengers or prisoners. Often when one spots children, one can
probably assume that it is a "pleasure ride". Give them a wide berth
whatever, as they can still be officious even when on the joy ride.
Usually not in any particular hurry to get anywhere.
|
January 2005