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Say 'Cheese' And
Bend Your Knees
Do people in some
countries smile more than people in others? I'm not sure, but there
are certainly differences in when people smile. I'm always stunned
when I view photos from a relative's wedding in India. Everyone
looks so serious, almost glum, like they're attending a meeting of
the Enron Investors Club. I'm telling you, I've seen more smiles at
some funerals.
Granted, the
ceremony itself is supposed to be fairly solemn, but you'd expect to
see plenty of laughter and merriment afterward, at least when the
priest isn't around. Instead, the groom looks like he just ate a
worm, while the bride looks like she just married one.
Of course, it's
possible that the photographer did a poor job of capturing
everyone's happiness. Perhaps the bride's dad went cheap and hired
someone from the driver's licence centre. Not only did he shine a
light directly into everyone's eyes, the numbskull forgot to tell
them to say "cheese."
Pictures from
western weddings look remarkably different. Everyone is smiling
broadly, especially if it's a special wedding, the kind with an open
bar. The groom has such a wide grin, you can count all the cavities.
And the bride can't help showing her freshly whitened teeth -- she
even smiles when the bartender calls it a night.
There are cultural
differences at play, of course, but I've found that it's always wise
to smile in photos, especially if you're dark-skinned like me. You
can always spot me in a group photo -- I'm the set of teeth in the
back row.
Even when I'm
posing for an official photograph, such as for a passport or
driver's licence, I try my best to smile. Who knows, the smile might
be the only thing that keeps the authorities from pegging me as a
terrorist.
FBI agent: "He's
dark-skinned and he has a beard. He might be a terrorist."
Second agent: "But
he's got such a wide smile. An arresting smile."
First agent:
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. We'd better arrest him fast. If
he's smiling so much, he must be up to something."
If a smile in a
photograph can seem suspicious, so can a smile on the street. In
some countries, smiling at strangers is considered odd, even
impolite. As one Russian said, "If a man is smiling at everyone on
the street, he is either deeply in love or deeply intoxicated. Or he
is an American."
Of course, smiling
isn't the only sign of friendliness. In Zambia, people don't smile
as much as Americans do, but they'll greet you with an elaborate
handshake that often involves handclapping and curtsying, making you
wonder if they think you're royalty, perhaps a Nepalese prince or at
least a relative of Queen Latifah.
If your car breaks
down, there's no shortage of people willing to push it all the way
down the street. Just try it sometime -- it's a great way to save on
petrol.
People have
different ways of being friendly to strangers. I always welcome a
smile, but when it comes right down to it, I'm far more appreciative
of the guy who looks stern, but offers my wife his seat on the bus,
than the guy who shows all his teeth, but can't show any courtesy.
 Melvin
Durai is a U.S.-based writer and humorist who grew up
in Zambia. His weekly humour columns are read by thousands of
people in more than 90 countries. For an email subscription
to his columns, please visit his
website
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October 2005